Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
