my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
