I am in a vortex of obligation.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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