Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
