I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
