you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
