I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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