I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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