Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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