Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
