Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize