I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
