so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
