Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
