it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
