Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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