You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize