I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
