my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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