you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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