As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love you. Go after that dick
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