i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
