a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize