I want to have your abortion
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
