Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
