He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
dude. I can hear the air.
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