I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
