He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
