She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
