it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize