I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
