I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
