when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
