I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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