I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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