im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
