im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
