yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
