but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
