I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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