I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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