The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You made out with two different species that night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
