Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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