somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
