I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
