I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
