Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we're making bets on your personal life
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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