he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
