I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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