we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
