Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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