i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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