Betty ford says i'm here all night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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