i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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