I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
