i jhust puked up my retainher.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
