naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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