can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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