Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
