its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
