I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
