do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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