i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize