You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
