I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
