i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
