So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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