I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize