I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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