I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize