6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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