I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
