Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
